So, last week; I left my house for a vacation. (Smiles) Yes, not at the Bahamas, but at a friends place to take in new air. Well, one of those days; I woke up and was chatting with this lady, I had not even said my prayers. She asked me how my night was; I told her, “lonely and sad”. Next thing she said is, ” you should have called your girlfriend. When, I told her we had called it quits since last year; she laughed and asked me why do I even need a girlfriend. My reply to her? She damned it as nonsense. She then said,
“Are you ready for the responsibilities that comes with a girlfriend?
The lovely times and bad times. People normally get into relationship without considering that and when they finally encounter one issue, they run for the skies; you have to be really ready mentally.
When you have duly considered, you can start your search and you have to find her yourself”.
That was her advice to me, and then I decided to hear from both sex of young adults between late teenage, early twenties and mid twenties. It was really a random survey and some of the response were hilarious, others emotional, some sweet. But at the end; a ‘relationship expert’ also quips in a huge well of advice on partners or relationship.
Why do you need a boyfriend? “So we can fuck together”.
Does this mean without a boyfriend, no fucks? “Yeah… unless I get a dildo for myself”.
~ Stella Ezeh (female) A model in her early twenties.
Why do you not need a girlfriend? “I need one, I’m not willing to have one. I need a wife but I am not willing to have one”.
~ Richardson Ohaka (male) An engineer in his early twenties
Why do you not need a boyfriend? “I am good and enjoying being single”.
Would the enjoyment stop or faze with being in a relationship? “It’s a whole different scenario then. I am enjoying my own company”.
~ Kelira (female)
A 22 year old lawyer
Why do you think you need a girlfriend? “Well for me, I want to have someone I can talk to, have a nice time with, go on vacation with. I need someone that can understand what I am going through without me saying much about it”.
“Sometimes, everyone needs an extra backbone; a shoulder to cry on or lean on, someone that can laugh at your dry jokes; come through for you whenever you need her. Sometimes, a guy just need a girl that can care for him without having something else in mind, someone that can motivate him”.
~ ALLEN RALPH (male)
A young Hydrobiologist. Contact on IG: rharfel
Why do you not need a boyfriend? Seriously, did you say boyfriend? What would I use a boyfriend for? My dear, I’m fucking tired. I don’t think I need a boyfriend; I’m cool like this. Its not like I’ve deleted the space for love in my heart. But then, I honestly don’t see the reason why I should love someone. Charle, there is fake love everywhere! Everybody is just after sex and stuff. In this generation, everyone is just after sex and stuff. Would I say I’m not really that type; I don’t really feel for sex, you get? I don’t feel for that shit, I don’t know. Most times, I wonder if I’m human. I just don’t feel for that shit and then, would I say its guys who talk more about sex and it irritates me; cos I feel you’re just there for what you want, like the sex part of it. You just want to get into my panties and that’s it; yeah, that’s why relationship should hold on right now. Probably, when I’m done with school. Believe me, there are lots of guys; hey Paul, there are lots of them. Charle, I’m tired of even hearing ‘I’m beautiful’ honestly. Cos, I don hear am tire. Like, I don’t even know what to say again; there are lots of them. But then, what would I do as its a normal thing right? Just keep saying ‘thank you, awwwn; thank you, awwwn; thank you’ that’s the only thing they get o (laughs)”.
~ Christiana Abena Opoku (female)
Accra technical University, Accra, Ghana.
Why do you think you don’t need a girlfriend? “Relationship just tires me. The pre-relationship drama gets me tired and unenthusiastic. I need to be ready financially; my guy, I ought to be. I already have the mental and emotional preparedness. If I love a girl, I wouldn’t want to see her suffer at all. My love is wild, and I don’t wanna have too many exes; it causes problems in life. I just need to be certain that any other person I wanna date should be of substance, just in case”. Wow! Just in case it leads to marriage yeah? “Very good, yeah”.
“I’ve intentionally been keeping sound and intelligent girls as friends and not these slay mamas of a bimbo. Most of my close friends now are studying professional courses; the nurses, law students, medical students, anatomy and so on like that; and they look good too, and are intelligent. My children should be smart now; and my wife should be able to go for their PTA meeting and speak smartly (laughs). So, I’d get the urge to get up and shout, ‘na me get am’ (meaning She’s mine). I also believe that ‘the better one becomes, the better one attracts’ so we should be better”.
“Yeah, my philosophy”.
~ MEKA WRIGHTS (male) is a bachelor’s degree holder from the prestigious University of Port Harcourt, Nigeria. A writer, editor, poet and model. He is a social butterfly and an avid reader. reporting from ABUJA, NIGERIA.
Why do you need a boyfriend? “At some point in our lives, we all need a boyfriend. That’s a fact we can’t dispute. But it isn’t all about having “the boyfriend”. It’s about knowing if you’re ready for all possible outcomes of having a boyfriend; like heartbreak, sharing your space, your time, doing things you don’t do normally, going the extra mile. So, we need a boyfriend when we truly need a boyfriend.
Or better still, take the “having a boyfriend” out of the equation and discover yourself”.
~ EKOM DONATUS (female)
A young innovative female who literally talks for a living. Your “go to” consultant if you need help getting your events be how you envision it (Event planner).
Why do you need a girlfriend? “Okay, first of all; girlfriend is not really about the sex and everything. Apart from your parents care and everything. For the fact that you have someone that genuinely cares about you and genuinely wants to see you succeed, genuinely wants to know how you’re doing ands everything. Pull late night calls and everything, that’s…. that’s… that feeling alone is everything. Most times, like me; when I say I’m looking for a girlfriend, its not because of sex, cos I’m fucking lonely. I just need that, ‘baby, have you eaten? baby, have you done this?’, that care; its just what I just watch out for. I know my mom is there; but my mom has her husband and everything to take care of and children. Getting that feeling from a stranger and becoming close and everything, is actually nice”.
~ GODFREY FORTUNE, alias Chief Daddy of Port Harcourt. (Male) geologist, co-organizer @social media hangout, social media marketer, content creator @portharcourtspecials
Why do you need a boyfriend? “I don’t think everybody needs one though, I personally do not think I need one. I think we just want one. For me, I’m a really private person and I don’t tell my close friends personal things about me, so a boyfriend for me is one I can tell anything and everything as I completely trust them. One to keep me company too. Share and create memories, etc.
~ PATRICIA EZE, (female)
A young lawyer. Love enthusiast; Yup, I love ‘Love’! I love the idea and concept of ‘love’, as well as the beauty of how a person can simply lose themselves in another and be moved to do things they would not normally do.
Why do you need a boyfriend? I don’t need again. I’m overqualified.
For company and trust; I can’t be explaining myself to other people or persons.
~ PRAISEGOD UZOUKWU (female)
Longrich marketer, 18 years old undergraduate of University of Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
Why don’t you need a girlfriend? “I don’t like sharing my space, yeah. Most times I think of it and I’m like “so, at a point in my life, I’m going to have to share space”, I don’t really like sharing my space; I like to keep to myself, you understand? Not like, lonely kinda keep to myself; I just like my space. Apart from that, the idea of just spreading around with one person; its scary. Especially these days, that my mind has been opened to too many things, like too many ways of life, too many possibilities to life, you understand? Like my mind has gone broader, I don’t just fancy marriage; not like everything must end in marriage. I told my mom that she shouldn’t even think of coming to my wedding; and she was like, “what kinda talk is that? that I must be mad”. I’m like, ” No, I just don’t like the idea”. She can expect plenty grandchildren but that’s why she has three other children. I just pray the idea goes off with time.
~ ORINAEMI FIRST alias Ori (male) a student.
I believe it was quite a read; I wanted to drop the huge word from the relationship expert. But I’ll save it for WHY DO I NEED A PARTNER 2.0
Just wait for the next blog post, so the next time you decide to go into a relationship. Or before wanting one, you’d actually know what to want.