I penned down 7 Lessons in my 7 years of marriage last year. I believe it would bless anyone who reads it
These lessons I needed to share with you. I couldn’t be very selfish with it. I just couldn’t! Now enjoy and of course do well to share with others.
1. Never compare your wife to another woman, in any area whatsoever.
Even if it is your mother, Never make that mistake. This is also applicable to ladies who especially compare their partners to their dads or other men they once dated.
It is the wrongest thing to do. If you do this, that relationship won’t see the light of day. It will only end in frustration.
When you do this, it only demoralizes & dampens your partner especially when you say it. It kills the spark in that marriage.
Most times you think it, but stop. Avoid it at all cost.
2. Never hide your finances from your spouse
You could think you are keeping more money to yourself by doing this but you aren’t. If your wife is a prudent, truthful & not an overly spending woman like my wife, then please expose it all to her.
These women are better at home finance management. I was a spender but was not aware I was until I got married.
If she is someone who spends without caring about the future or doesn’t care about any budget that could be drawn to manage money, my brother you are on your own o 🤣
ALSO READ: DISCOVER TOP 10 PHOTOGRAPHERS IN PORT HARCOURT
3. Always be truthful to your spouse about your friends of the opposite sex
The moment you start hiding your friends of the opposite sex or someone you have been engaging without his/her knowledge,you are already laying the bed of cheating & adultery.
It is just a matter of time
4. Never raise your voice on your wife, Never
In all you do, Never do this. This usually happens in an argument & I once used to do it. Unfortunately, naturally my voice is usually loud & that’s been from my childhood, those who know me knows this.
However, this is still not enough reason to try overpower your partner with your voice.
It isn’t right. It psychologically & mentally weakens your partner, killing the spark between you two. Even if you are right, sometimes keep quiet until it all goes down. I know it is tough but you can do it.
ALSO READ: HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH FOR YOUR WOMAN?
Don’t be too quick to prove your point cos you feel you are right.
One thing I have discovered is that when there is an issue in a relationship, no matter how you swing it & how badly one of you have behaved, BOTH OF YOU ARE AT FAULT.
If you take time to sit & meditate on the whole issue, no matter how right you think you are, you’ve got a fault, trust me. There is somewhere somehow where you could have done things better and the matter wouldn’t have escalated the way it did.
So no matter what, don’t be too keen to prove your point and never raise your voice
5. Never watch Porn
You might be tempted to want to learn one or two things from porn to spice up to sex life or learn a few things. Trust me, that thing will only damage your sex life.
Remember sex involves more of your mind & soul that your physical body, this is same as porn.
It would seem like you’re learning 1 or 2 things but it is a lie cos the thing you claim you learnt, you won’t be able to practice it cos your partner isn’t a pornstar.
ALSO READ: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE A MOVIE DATE IN PORT HARCOURT
However, your mind has been damaged by your expectations not being met; there is an urge to fulfil it. Then you start looking out for other means of fulfilment.
The video is stuck in your mind and renders you unproductive, and you could begin to find your partner unattractive; hence, not as aroused as you ought to subsequently.
Run away from Porn!
6. Manage Inlaw Relationship well
Never allow any in-law talk down or talk poorly about your wife even in her absence even if it’s your own parent. Never allow it.
Address it on the spot whenever it happens. Don’t respect anybody enough for your partner to be dragged in the mud or like tiger gen.
Remember you are one & if you allow it, it will continue & even you will lose your worth in their eyes.
Don’t wait till later to address it. Address it respectfully on the spot. It binds you both more & your partner respects & loves you more for it.
7. Your partner should always be your priority
When kids come into the picture, attention will be shared; however, always be conscious of this & never let it affect your primary relationship with your spouse. Never.
Your kids will leave you one day. He/She will remain by your side & then your eyes will clear. Don’t lose that closeness & affection. Let it get stronger & better.
Create moments with her alone without the kids. Let the kids watch you both grow in affectionate love – this is one of the best gifts you can give your kids.
Also as you just finished reading through, share with a couple. Especially a young couple you know.
PAUL KAY's BLOG 