“What has become of my child? I have never spared the rod. I never spared a lash on him whenever he does wrong. Now, even when I lash him for his wrongs, he is not improving in his attitude. Counselor, how can I nurture my child through the path to adulthood?

The attitude of a well mannered adults depends solely on the parents or guardians. A growing child needs to absorb every good attitude worth imbibing. Before a child gets to a decade on Earth(ten years), he or she should be able to have values. Values like: intergrity, humility, responsibility, neatness, diligence, discipline, etc.

It is the duty of the parents or guardian to inculcate these values in their children or wards. In the early stages of childhood (toddler), a child’s curiosity is very wild. They always want to absorb what should be done and what shouldn’t be done, what this is and what it isn’t.

This is the period in which the role of the parents comes to play. Neglecting a child during this period may be a thing of concern in few years time. So many vices young adults indulge in is the outcome of negligence on the part of the parents during the toddler age.

Physical punishment or inflicting pain to cause a change of attitude in your children is not the best way. The “rod” as written in the Bible connotes guidance. It entails the adequate guidance of children on the path to good attitude.

Lest I forget, there are children whose improper or poor upbringing is as a result of their environment, ill-behaviour of a parent or both parents. Children brought up in such situation can embrace change when there mind is ready to absorb change.

Oh yes! We are adults. We have our flaws; children are not exempted. Let your children know that they are humans and that there mistakes shouldn’t cause regrets but lessons.

Inflicting pain to cause a child to change bad behaviour can threaten parental connection. Parents are advised to always create an environment of love, serenity, attention and care. When this is done, the parent can talk to the child with love not harshness.

This kind of environment enables the child to open up reasons for their bad attitude. Then, the parents should instill words of wisdom and correction in a soft manner.

Guiding the children to becoming a better version of themselves can not be done through pain infliction. Human changes when the mind is renewed from the shackles of the belief that held them bound in the cage of bad attitude.

Sensitize your children on the consequences of their actions or bad behaviour. If possible, site instances from the scripture or tell them stories which the moral lessons are what you want them to imbibe.

Former minister of social development in South Africa, Bathabile Dlamini, said, “Children are impressionable and when those in position of authority use violent means to encourage discipline, the children understand this as saying violence is permissable when trying to persuade others to act in a certain way”.

The mind is the turning point for every bad behaviour. Proper childhood upbringing is the bedrock for an admirable adulthood lifestyle. Be the first role model and mentor to your children. Pain infliction is not the best way to cause a U-turn in their attitude, mind renewal is the best.



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