FATHERS ARE NOT IMPORTANT IN THE REARING OF CHILDREN!

I was to travel this Monday morning as early as 6am! By Sunday, all my documents were complete. Every single one of them was complete. But then, I had to run around to see what more money I could be able to grab. Luckily for me, someone who owed me some amount of money paid me that Sunday evening. So, I was greedily happy; I don’t think anyone could be as happy as I was. But, I was tired as my boot was one that reared up to my lower leg; and it was quite new and tight. All I needed was to be home.

About five minutes from where I was to alight from this vehicle, I brought out my wallet and paid my fare. I could have simply put it back in my back pocket. But, I wanted to be sure I don’t forget it; so I held onto it. Inside this wallet were documents I needed to travel with: my passports, my ID cards, My ATM card and also that of my parents (Since I live with them, I hold it for them; cos I was the very careful one).

In the fullness of my confident military demeanor; who would believe I’d forget a wallet as critical as it was. Well then, it happened. But I noticed immediately I jumped down; I chased after the vehicle hoping it would stop, it didn’t. I jumped into another, whose driver asked me to get out on realizing my wallet had just been stolen. Despite my pleas, his harsh voice from his cigarette cracked lips still shouted in his thick pidgin accent, “Carry your careless self comot for my motor”.

“It wasn’t his fault”, I thought to myself.

I ran back to where I got down from the vehicle; crossed the road and waited patiently for the bus to come around. I prayed to God earnestly in my little hazy moment. Finally, the bus came and they did search; but my wallet was gone! I’ve used over three wallets since I became an adult and I’ve never lost any one of them. This was strange! After moments of gruesome lamentation; I entered another vehicle, headed home. I called my younger sister to wait at the gate as to help pay my fare.

When I got home, I told my parents; my dad initially questioned why I didn’t put in my bag. Meanwhile, this was something I always did. Then he told me, maybe this was meant to happen as it has never happened before. In his words; if this had not happen, another thing deadlier might have happened. He told me of someone who prepared a poisoned food for the child of his friend. Before the child would eat the food, the family dog had gone and finished the food. All the family members cried for the dog, because it was so lovely and had been part of the family picture for long. It was months later that they discovered the dog died in place of their son.

After this, I was trying to come to terms with my travel plans being shattered when my mom came to berate me for being so careless. This was bad for my health, but she had no idea. This Monday morning, I had ran to get everything I lost. The thing I got last was a wallet, before going home to rest. Since I couldn’t travel today, it had to be the next day early morning. I slept and woke up about 3pm to put my things in order; only for me to find out my ATM card (the new one I had made earlier today is now missing). I searched everywhere; even went to the bank that told me it’s past official hours. I almost cried; I needed to travel with this ATM card. I called my dad, met him at his office and he asked me to try and remember. I then told him of a shop I had bought stuff from.

He told me not to let my mom know about it, even if I don’t find it. When I eventually got to the shop which was over one hour away; I called to inform him that I had found the ATM card, I was so glad. Now, during those uncertain moments when my mental strength was low; he didn’t condemn me. He became a mental fortitude to me.

Now, back to my headline. I’ve seen many single moms using that (the headline) as their mantra; struggling to be a father and a mother to a child. Many times they fail; because a woman and a man cannot have the same set of ideologies. The International Women’s day was a day to celebrate the women, but most parties used it as a medium to despise and contemn the male folks. You begin to wonder why?

Most moms make sure the child is brainwashed into hating the father. You find out those children’s lives get ruined! If they’re girls, it’s even worse; as they are most times plagued with trust issues. Most times too; the men, in their quest to provide for the family; tend to neglect the family. But, every child should try to get close to both parents irrespective of sex. Because, their words, counsel, guidance, experience are indispensable. Even if I’m told my dad cheats today; I’ll let him be, if it makes him happy.

Its generally the same rule you should apply to virtually everything in life. Always filter the benefits and losses you tend to gain from someone before discarding the person. Your focus should be on the person’s strengths; the value the person brings to you, before you start counting the person’s faults.

I do hope you learn a few; let me sleep as I do have a trip to make tomorrow.