You know the motivational talk that, “you don’t just need talent alone, but you also need hard work”. Well, it doesn’t just apply to footballers alone; but also to every sphere of the world, including writers. I had this idea since on Friday 30th August, 2019. I do apologize and from tomorrow the posts would be consistent! So over to our talk (grins), I WISH I WERE HIM.
Today’s talk is actually quite revealing of me. But, I’d share!
Growing up, despite being flogged to school from home; despite being left at ‘fat auntie’s house’ after school; I knew I was loved. If you are wondering, ‘fat auntie’ was the nickname given to our head teacher back then in my first primary school (or basic school as you might like to call it). Fat auntie, though a very caring woman was really stern. At the time, I would have picked any other place to stay, but no; my parents wanted me to stay with ‘fat auntie’.
With the burgeoning compliments on my intelligence, I knew I was intelligent. You could say it got worse when I discovered I was third on the junior secondary honour roll, after a first year of junior secondary education. You could call it pride; or self love. But I was sure proud of myself. I remember the first time I came 7th; the drama at the result centre. Now, all these had been a preamble; attending a boarding school was like attending a university because you get to take care of yourself by yourself most of the time. I had a good sense of humor; but I wished for more. I had started having rooms for emotions for members of the opposite sex. it appeared the only reason I was loved by a female was ‘intelligence’. It made me had this weird feeling of being ‘used’. I had some classmates who were liked for who they were. They weren’t intelligent; they were liked because they were handsome, they were liked because they had money; they were liked for them. Well, so I felt!
Now, I didn’t spend much years on the sidelines after secondary school; so I got into the university with some kind of ‘naivety’.
Going into the university, I had some established theorems in my head, that I never would have believed would have changed. I had seen love; but just one, that got separated by distance and a long distance relationship turned a distant memory. I had wanted it again but I had a dream girl in my head; and when I saw samples of my dream girl, I always knew them. But, most of the time; I either got tongue-tied or got too jovial and normal with her. At the time, I felt “Oh, if only I was as handsome as this other guy she just hugged. Oh, if I was as rich as this other guy, maybe I’d have a look in”. There was even a time I felt if I had clothes and shoes like this guy, my chances of getting her would have been higher. Now, these were really sad times. You could call it growth, but it was really not a good time. I always had this feeling of insufficiency. Of course, I did try to shield it; and trust me you’d never find out or so I thought. Most times, I was really not happy. But then what would we know?
Confidence is like a lamp in a dark room; it exudes! Its not something you can hide. It just fills the ambience. Now, I read some books and also had some experience. I found out the girl I imagined to be a ‘Beyonce’ and only a certain ‘Jay Z’ would she acquiesce her heart to; was in love with a boy most could term a village boy. I pondered on it; and it wasn’t just one or two. So, I wondered what it could be about this ‘village boy’ that must have won her over. Now skip that; what about the girl that could be misread as Bill Gates Daughter, is she with a certain Bill Gates Son? No! She even foots everything for the guy. I’m not stopping here, I also got to interact with some persons; and I found out that one’s awesomeness lies not in the beauty, lies not in their ‘wallet size’. No, but in their whole awesome energy.
I discovered the only person’s lane I got to focus on, is my lane. I discovered that when I look at others, I delay. The only person you’ve got to drop the focus on—-is YOU. Yourself! Be you! Never feel you’re insufficient. If someone rejects you, don’t see it as you’re not enough. See it that the person can’t handle your level of awesomeness. Work on you. Shift the paradigm from worrying to working more on you. Be your best hype man! Sell yourself. Sell your strengths and if your weakness can’t be improved, avoid bringing them to the lime lights. Take on the world as if you’re the landlord; and stop wishing you were someone else. Be you!
You’d do better being a first version of You! than being a second version of another person; cos then, you’d never be able to do it well. And let your confidence always come from within and not from out of you. Not from clothes, cars, houses, etc. Let your confidence flow from within you. Else, you’d keep on wanting to be him or her.
Aaaaaannnnnnd if you’ve had a similar experience; you could actually just drop comments on how you battled it; so readers can also learn. What do you know? (chuckle) So, I can learn too; like Einstein said, the day I stop learning is the day I start to die! Good morning, people!